MONDAYS / On our Vocation Driving Personal Growth
EPISODE OVERVIEW: How our vocational commitments will provide us with the precise opportunities required for our personal development.
Hosted by Fiona Bicknell
In this episode, Fiona reflects on the profound personal growth and healing that can come from making a vocational commitment, drawing on her own journey of transitioning from the fashion industry to health coaching, nutrition, and Kundalini yoga.
She shares how each new role—whether as a personal trainer, coach, or teacher—has offered unexpected opportunities to confront her own challenges, develop discipline, and heal deeply, illustrating the power of commitment in both professional and personal realms.
Listen in to explore how this concept applies not just to those in wellness or coaching fields but to anyone pursuing a creative or entrepreneurial endeavor. From writing screenplays to launching products, committing to our passions can push us to confront our deepest insecurities and limitations. Tune in for insights on how embracing your calling can lead to immense transformation, both for you and for those you serve.
THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF:
You're feeling drawn to create or offer something to the world, but unsure of what steps to take.
You're in the process of transitioning or pivoting in your career and seeking insight on how to align your offerings with your growth.
You’re in a career or creative space where you're wondering how to align your personal growth with your vocational work.
You’ve ever felt resistance or hesitation about committing to something that could require deep personal work.
You’re contemplating what you could create or offer to the world but aren’t sure how it would impact your personal journey.
You're ready to explore how your next big project could lead to self-discovery, healing, and breakthrough.
What Next?
If this episode felt useful and you’d like to connect further with PORTER, there are multiple ways to engage with Fiona and the brand:
To tune into more OVT, browse all episodes at the link below.
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Hello, it is Monday, September 30th.
And I am very happy to have you here for another Monday message.
Today, I'm going to talk a little bit about a particular contemplation that has been on my mind over the last few years, since I changed career directions. I previously worked in a full-time role in the fashion industry. I was in marketing and branding for a number of years. And then in 2018, I made a pivot.
And I began exploring different areas of interest. I had no idea what I was going to end up doing at that point in time. I just knew I wanted to do something different.
And throughout that process of kind of learning all of these different modalities and exploring different ways to offer them, there's been a bit of a trend or a bit of a pattern that I have noticed. And it seems to just be getting stronger and stronger, or more and more prominent and obvious.
And that is this idea that, or this kind of theory that when we make a commitment vocationally, so a commitment through our work or our vocation in the world, to offer something or deliver something to another, we will receive through that process exactly what it is that we need for our personal growth, for our personal development, and for our internal healing.
And so I'll use myself as an example here.
And I'm going to just run through what the past, I guess, six years have kind of looked like for me, very top line.
I first of all started with personal training. I was working one-to-one with clients. And even though I grew up as a competitive athlete, and I had a huge amount of discipline instilled in me in those spaces, when it came to movement and physical health and looking after the body, as I got older and as I moved into full-time work, I kind of lost a lot of that discipline. I lost a lot of that routine and I lost a connection with my body and an attunement to my body.
And through committing to offering the service of personal training, it woke that back up in me. It pushed me to have to really consider what it is that my body needed. It pushed me to have to really look at my own physical health routines, my own movement commitments, and just my discipline around that. And it changed my health for the better.
And I then went on to study nutrition and became a nutritionist, and I started offering that to my clients. And the same thing happened.
I was forced to have to look at all of my own beliefs around food, my own behaviors around food, and kind of clean up that area of my life. And the way that I eat has drastically, drastically changed in the last five years.
And those are some really tangible ones. Then becoming a coach, like coaching people, like I want to make sure I'm always being as responsible as I can, right?
So in order to be as responsible as I can, it means I have to be certain that I'm not projecting. And even though that's something that I don't think we can ever completely avoid, we're always going to have blind spots. We're always going to have these subconscious biases that we can't see.
But in order to be the best coach that I can be, it means I had to go really deep into looking at my own shit and understanding like where I needed work on myself. And that meant getting my own coach. That meant working with the clinical psychologist. That meant working with like a whole long list of different modalities and practices to try and make sure that I'm showing up to that space in the greatest way that I can, that I'm fulfilling that role, and I'm offering that service at the highest level that I can.
And the change that that's created for me is huge. The personal growth that that's created for me is, yeah, it's not measurable.
And then the reason this has been back on my mind again recently, is around the practice of Kundalini Yoga. I teach Kundalini. And when I first did my teacher training, I did not go into it with the intention of teaching. I went into it because I'd been practicing Kundalini at that point for a couple of years. And I found the practice to be hugely beneficial.
I just noticed my self-changing. I noticed my brain changing. Just I was feeling different. And this training was offered with these teachers who I had learned so much from. These are teachers that were based out here in LA, but I was living in New York at the time.
And they were coming to New York specifically to do this training. And I really just wanted to be in the room with them. I just wanted to be able to learn from these people that had already offered me so much value. And I kind of just wanted to go deeper.
I just thought the practice was fascinating and I wanted to learn more about it, but I didn't really anticipate that I would be teaching. And then at the end of that, at the end of that training, it was the final day of training.
In the final meditation, we were all laying down, listening to gong. And for anyone that has been in a Kundalini class, and then laid out to receive the vibration of the gong, you will know exactly what state I was in. It's just this feeling of like the, the, your energy feels completely calm, completely at peace. The body is completely relaxed and at rest and everything feels open. And it's, it's just a space where clarity feels so much easier to access.
And it was the final day of this teacher training. And in that final meditation, listening to gong, I just had this such a clear message or such a clear moment where the line that I got was, and now the work begins.
And that you could objectively look at that and see, okay, here's this person that's gone through this training and now, you know, they've they've done the work to now be able to go and teach.
And instead, the message I got was, well, and now the work begins.
That now you're ready to go and teach, and that's where the work is.
That's actually where the work is.
When you put yourself in front of a group of people, and you begin to offer something, like that's where your own personal work is activated in the greatest way.
And you don't have to be operating in these kinds of modalities that are offering support to people to experience this. You might be someone that is writing a screenplay. You might be someone that is developing a new app. You might be someone that, I don't know, has a physical product that you're offering to the world. You might be working for a company that offers any one of these sorts of things.
You don't have to be in this line of work to experience this process or this, I don't even know what to call it, for this idea or this theory to be true, it's not true only in one industry.
It's when you commit to the offering, that is where the work is for yourself. That is where the personal work takes place. Because up until that point that I started teaching, I was just receiving, I was just learning, and I was just absorbing.
Yes, it's great to like, I believe I obviously to go to teach, to go on to teach Kundalini, I obviously believe in the practice, and I believe in the benefits of the practice, enough to commit to it in that way.
So even on the receiving end of just being in class, there is huge benefit in that, right?
But you are just receiving.
To then go into that role of commitment to offering, it pushes you into a different space, where you really have to kind of take ownership of yourself in a different way.
And the reason that this has been kind of at the forefront of my mind most recently, is because I started teaching an online class that is weekly.
So up until this point, I did my teacher training at the beginning of 2023. And so for the past 18 months or so, I taught a little bit online through a friends program with her community.
I was teaching workshops in person at various spaces here in LA. So it was more sporadic. There wasn't a huge commitment on my part.
And then a couple of months ago or like 10 weeks ago, I made the decision that I was going to start offering a class online every Sunday. And the actual teaching itself, I didn't have any, I don't, I haven't had any resistance around. I love, like I love creating those spaces.
I love being able to offer this practice. The resistance I had was around this showing up every week. Can I, like, can, do I have what it takes to be able to show up every week and deliver this?
Do I have what it takes to deliver everything around that class that is necessary to make it the best class it can be for people?
Do I have what it takes to hold myself in the right energy and look after myself in the way that I need to, to be able to show up every week and teach that class?
And the past, I think, I think today was, I'm recording this on Sunday, sorry. And I taught class this morning. And I think today was the 10th session I've done, if I'm remembering correctly.
So for 10 weeks, I have shown up and taught that, that class. And in that 10 weeks, something has shifted in me completely. I am thinking about the way that I create offerings in a completely different manner. I am thinking about the energy of my body in yet a new way.
Again, like it has offered something to me that there is no way I could have anticipated that this was what I was going to get out of it.
And so I guess what I am sharing this for is to offer the suggestion of contemplating for yourself what is it that you are drawn towards offering to the world, whether that be in the job that you're in now or within the business that you already have, or whether it be something that you're thinking about moving into that you haven't begun yet.
Yeah, and it truly could be anything, but what is it that you feel drawn to create?
And yeah, can you, I don't know, contemplate what might open up for you if you were to commit to that?
And like I said, oftentimes we're not going to be able to see what comes on the other side or what comes from it.
It's almost like our intuition or higher self or the universe or whatever we want to call it that's pulling us in that direction.
It's almost like that thing or whatever is guiding us has some kind of intelligence greater than we do.
It knows that we will get, that desire comes from this other kind of intelligence that knows that if we follow that desire, we will receive what it is that we need.
And so we often can't see it.
But even so, I'm going to suggest some contemplation in the week ahead of whatever it is that you feel drawn to, that would require a commitment from you, that you might feel or sense that there's some resistance in yourself to doing it.
Yeah, and contemplate what might that open up for you?
What might it help you heal in yourself?
And some examples here are things like, okay, maybe you want to write a screenplay.
Maybe the topic that you want to write about is based on personal experience.
And through the process of writing it, it is probably going to force you to have to explore these parts of self in a deeper way.
When you come to selling that screenplay or pitching that screenplay, trying to get it picked up, you're going to have to be able to stand in a room.
And I'm sorry, I don't want to go to a place that I'm scaring anyone who's thinking of writing a screenplay.
I don't want to put you off here, but you're going to have to stand in a room and convince people about your screenplay.
You're going to have to sell yourself.
So you're going to have to learn how to talk about these topics in a new way.
And that's going to take some self-development, and that's going to take exploring limiting beliefs and clearing them out the way.
Or maybe you want to perform.
You're a performer or you're an actor.
And what is required for you to do that is to be able to share certain emotions, but in order to be able to tap into those emotions, you might need to tap into something in yourself that you've been ignoring or you've been afraid to go to, and it's going to push you to have to face and confront those parts of self.
Or maybe it is that you want to develop a product that offers a solution to a challenge that you've had yourself.
But in offering that product or putting that product to market, there's a high likelihood you're going to have to come up with the messaging to tell your story or you're going to have to find the courage to be able to tell your story, to create connection with an audience, to buy into that product.
And that's going to force you to confront, again, these parts of self that maybe you don't want to look at.
So I'm going to leave us with a quote from David White, who I am constantly quoting, but I love this man's work.
He says, a true vocation calls us out beyond ourselves.
It breaks our heart in the process, and then humbles, simplifies, and enlightens us about the hidden core nature of the work that enticed us in the first place.
Yeah, I love that.
The part as well where he says, it breaks our heart in the process, and then humbles, simplifies, and enlightens us.
I just think that's so beautiful.
And that has definitely been my experience over the past six years of this new career direction or new vocational direction.
And I doubt that I absolutely know that that process is not finished either, that I will continue to have my heart broken in this process.
I will continue to be humbled in this process with every new thing that I commit to putting out to the world.
It's like, yeah, I've come to realize I'm going to go through that process again and again and again, but it's in my highest good and it's in the highest good for everyone that's going to be receiving the end product as well.
Okay, I'm going to leave it here, but the contemplation is like, what commitment do you feel pulled towards and what might it open up for you if you were to step into it or if you were to, yeah, move towards it.
Okay, I hope you have a really beautiful week ahead.
Energy Forecast for October will be out tomorrow on the 1st, and then the calendar for October is also open for booking Akashic readings.
And yeah, Sunday Church, the Kundalini class is back next Sunday as well online.
I hope you have a lovely week, and I am sending so much love.
